My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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