nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
