Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
