I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
