she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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