"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
