drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
