what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize