JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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