She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
