Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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