Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
