I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize