I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
