YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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