ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize