I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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