tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
