I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
