idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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