He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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