No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
