Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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