Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
