Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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