It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
A+ Viking dick
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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