btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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