I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
