I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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