Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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