Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
