the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
