i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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