i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
