I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
