Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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