Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
