okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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