Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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