so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Come on in and take your pants off
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