He kissed a someone with a penis
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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