i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is Oprah even human
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
