You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Alive.
So much puke
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
this is an emotional support booty call
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
