They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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