I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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