What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
