fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
