Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
