I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
