What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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