That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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