Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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