Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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