my phone needs a breathalizer
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
