he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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