A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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