its not stalking. its research.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
