The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I think people are normalizing furries
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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