I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
