A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
