We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
sex in a hospital.. check
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
