I think my vagina is haunted
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
