And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
