direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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