What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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