My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
