Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
