Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize