also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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