I wannas sexs uuuuu
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize