i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
