He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
