he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize