): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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