I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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