Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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