all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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