I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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