that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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