the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I would fuck him just for his dog
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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