yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
