Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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